This past Wednesday I had stepped outside for some fresh air. My toenails were a wreck, I was running out of my face powder, and I wanted a new pair of trousers for work. The sun and breeze was calling my name; and I had answered it. I had gotten dressed, and went to go wait for the bus to take me to my favorite Beauty Supply store. I remember feeling so bottled up and weak; I usually am on the phone with my significant other and I would be just be rambling about my surroundings. This particular day, my significant other had spent some well needed family time with his loved ones. I realized how uncomfortable I had felt with myself; the roaring silence in my mind was deafening. I really was not fond of myself.
Does that ever happen to you? Where you always want something to distract yourself from you? Finding solace in other things and people than what’s in your own head? The concept is kind of sad if you think about it. For a long time, I have always been alone and kept my personal life to myself. I definitely kept people at am arms distance away from myself, but I was always willing to help out with other people’s problems through advice or even just listening to them. When I had first met my significant other in 9th grade, I felt that I had just clicked with him. My feelings that I kept inside came rolling off my tongue when we had became good friends; as well did his. I have always loved our communication skills. I never thought that there would be one day in which the one day in which I don’t have my s/o to talk to, I would nearly have an anxiety attack on the way home. I realized that I had a LONG way to go before I am comfortable with me. I am excited to show this journey to anyone that is open to read and relate with me. I will be updating this blog irregularly with my journey to inner solace in hope that I can help others just like me on their journey as well. Stay Positive, and have a great day/night.